Ah, Seattle. Great city, poor dating options. While I was living there it was voted one of the top 10 cities for singles. What were they smoking? I want some! In Seattle I met the geeky Microsoft guy who used a discount card on our second date at a horrible restaurant. I met the engineer that ensured me he was not “a typical engineer”. Yes, yes you are. Socially awkward. Inappropriate conversation. Typical engineer. Wait, inappropriate conversation? You want more details on that? Okay…well the words “penis” and “vagina” were used, complete with gestures. Yes, that really did happen. On a date. In public. I couldn’t get out of there fast enough. Of course my final fling in Seattle was with the English Soccer Player. He was tall, really tall. He had an accent. He coached soccer and thus had a completely opposite schedule than I did. He worked from 2-10pm on weekdays, and was coaching or playing almost every weekend. Most of our “dating” consisted of texting, late evening run-ins, and the occasional evening at the bars with the friends who introduced us. He had no money so we hardly ever went out for dinner, but he did have an accent and therefore he was given a lot more slack than I’d normally allow other men. Did I mention that he was tall, played soccer and had an accent? Our relationship ended when I moved to Portland. Which he found out about through the friends who introduced us. About a month after I moved. Whoops, I guess I forgot to call him.
I still think penis/vagina guy comes close to topping the list of bad dates. Thanks for that, Seattle!
If I don’t laugh, I’ll cry.